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windhoek, Namibia

Sunday, November 30, 2008

tired of elastics

I think I am becoming bored with my elastics cos I can't see any difference in my teeth. Sometimes, but not very often I go an entire day without wearing them. That's really bad right? I think subconciously I just hate the things.

How long are we supposed to wear them anyways? I have an adjustment coming up with this week so I guess I'll ask the oral hygienist.

Let me check on the rest of you...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

still in pain after adjustment a week ago

well nothing new or exciting happening in this camp. i had an adjustment last week wednesday and my usual oral hygienist was busy on some lucky son of a gun so i got one of the rest. quiet and only talking to each other in their language.

i'm not used to going for an adjustment and no conversation in between. so what they did first was to look at my elastics and the Dr. said he was very pleased with the results and that my bottom teeth only to move back a bit. I looked at the teeth in my bottom jaw and they are totally getting messed up becos of the elastics. i only noticed it today. my bottom teeth were always perfect until i started this treatment.

Anyway she was supposed to put a stainless steel wire but it didn't want to fit so she tried to fix it. by banging it or hitting it to make it fit. That hurt like a b.tch, lol. After significant 'discomfort' as they called it, she gave up and took it to put in a smaller wire.

Then We put the elastics and the Dr. told me to be strict with those. my teeth were really sensitive but coming back to normal except for the teeth on the left hand side. After this adjustment I was fed up and felt like I don't want to do this anymore!!!! this only happened to me once after i just been wearing the appliances for three days.

She was just not careful with me or talking me through it which i think made the entire process almost truamtic.

ok i'm off to replace my elastics... you all are looking good and laura just had surgery and jen is just about to. much more exctiting things happening with all of you.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Elastics and wax?????

So I have been wearing elastics on again off again for almost a month. The first couple of days were fine but then after that the pain started. As soon as I took the elastics off the pain was gone. I have some weird gaps now and people look at me really funny when they see my putting the elastics in and removing them to eat.

I will admit that sometimes I take them out to brush my teeth and forget to put them back in - I know really bad! But I put them in as soon as I remember. I have an adjustment next week so lets see what happens. I don't understand the gaps I have now, they are strange...

my personal life is as dramatic as ever! drama and issues because of yours truly. The tension has been really high lately which has made Nabukay a nasty person to know...

Sunday, October 5, 2008

elastics and prediction to be debraced in march 09

My teeth have gone from this when they were much better: So now, at my last adjustment on Tuesday I was given elastic bands to wear on each side. The elastics are not any where near as bad as I thought they would be. I was dreading them I think I pictured elastics that stretched across my entire mouth and had no idea how I would put them in, eat or even speak. So the oral hygienist said my teeth have moved so fast that she think the braces will be out in March. Well I'm pleasantly surprised but I'm not sure if I'm ready to be debraced? I love my braces and they give me character... anyway this is how my teeth look with elastics, they have become so straight I can't remember what they were like before. I have some big spaces and she used that transparent wire, string thing to force two of them together. That was really painful, but after about three days my teeth stopped hurting.

This is how my teeth look now:
On another note, I've been watching the hills lately and i guess the reason why I love it is because of how much I can relate to Lauren, I went through all that drama with my ex flatmate and some of the other things I can relate to as well. Ok I should sign off, I had such a good workout at the gym but now I need to work. *hugs*

Saturday, September 20, 2008

reflecting on my life

My teeth have been a bit sensitive on the right hand side especially the upper jaw. I guess they are moving...

I still have a week to go until my adjustment. I promise not to miss it this time!

I had lunch with a friend today, a good friend. Do you know what its like when you sit there and find yourself with someone but you can't remember what you have in common? You sit there thinking of what you want for your life and its not what the two of you are talking about or where this person is at. For the longest time I felt neglected by this friend and lately by another, but I think I've reached a point where I've realised that my real friends will call me every once in while and answer my messages... I think I've been asking myself whether it is a bad thing that the other friend never returns my calls? That means I may have outgrown this friendship.

I think I'm in a good space now because I am really evaluating my life in all aspects, emotionally, spiritually, financially and in terms of the company I keep and I have realised that if I want to get to where I want to go I need to make alot of changes.

Well, at the moment I am not single. I spent every day of the week with my new 'boyfriend'. But I've realised something, its different now. I don't have expectations. For the moment I just want us to get to know each other before deciding on anything. This one is nice but I don't know if he is the one. I do know that I'm not going to lose myself. I think I've grown up like that, I don't just fall in love with a man because he expresses interest anymore. He has to be special and while this one is nice, he doesn't fit the bill just yet.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

if you'd like to know more about me....

check out bwnamibia.book.co.za and you can learn more about what keeps me busy.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

totally missed my last adjustment!

ok so the only thing you can possibly be wondering is how the heck does someone miss an adjustment? oh gosh there are just so many things running through my mind at the moment.

i was really ill for about two weeks and the medication the Dr. gave me reacted so badly with my system i ended up getting hospitalised which was not fun. but i have a different kind of crisis on my hands at the moment. so remember i mentioned i went out for dinner with a 'friend' and it was just refreshing. this friend and i ended up going on more dates, holding hands and a couple of kisses.

this weekend he did not call me once, did not respond to my text messages and call me back when he missed my call. i'm so confused. anyway so i reschudled my appointment for the 31st and when i realised i missed it. damn i felt dum that day, lol.

as for my teeth, the teeth in the upper left hand jaw have been really sensitive and its worse if i eat meat or chicken. i guess it means they are moving but there was even a time when they were aching which is soemthing i have not experienced for a while because i have become used to the pain....

hope you all have some good news for me this feels like a blue monday.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

braced for 11 months and loving it

So today I had to go the Dentist because my gums have been bleeding and I don't know where the blood comes from. It turns out that they are a bit inflamed because of the appliances in my mouth. The first time they were a bit inflamed was because of an infection but this time she said its just irritation and she said my hygiene is really good and my gums look strong. Amazing, considering how lazy I am, too lazy to floss everyday and immediately after meals...

I was alarmed because sometimes after brushing there is a bit of blood but my gums and teeth aren't particularly sore. I HATE going to the dentist, even if they are nice and I can watch the style network while they work on my teeth. I hate all the equipment they use and all of it. But each time I make an appointment I only remember when I have to get into the chair how much I hate it.

The oral hygienist was shocked when she saw my teeth and she asked me which tooth was skew and I could not fully remember because of how straight they have been for a while. They are almost perfect although since closing the gap at the front, the midlines are off again. Anyway she mentioned that it looks like I will not have them for much longer and then I told her that I am enjoying the braces. I love them, they make me different. And I enjoy clean teeth so yeah.

Steph had a really cool post with 7 reasons she has braces, make sure to check it out.

over and out.

Monday, August 4, 2008

still sensitive teeth

so my adjustment was 5 days ago and my teeth are almost fine, just a little bit sensitive when i try and bite on my front teeth. i can't chew properly even with the teeth at the back. normally chewing with the braces is ridiculous but since the adjustment its worse. the gap that i only noticed the night before my adjustment is totally closed but my midlines are off. i saw the lady that gave me really good advice when i decided to get braces (she's 27 like me) and her braces are off. and then i thought of how fantastic my smile is going to be under these things!!!! that was a nice thought...

ok off to clean my room. keep on keeping on.

Thursday, July 31, 2008

painfree adjust yesterday = SERIOUS PAIN TODAY

So yesterday morning I went in for an adjustment. It was relatively quick because all she did was to replace the lower arch wire with a stainless steel wire (I think that what she called it). Basically my bottom teeth are perfect now so they are not supposed to move anymore.

She took the power chain off the teeth in the upper right hand side jaw, I think all the spaces are closed and she also took the miserable power string off. On Tuesday night my best friend told me I had a gap which in all seriousness, I had not even noticed. Anyway they mentioned it yesterday and she put a power string on it and the gap was closed thereafter.

Next month I get a stainless steel wire on the top jaw and elastics so that they can correct my bite. My teeth are perfectly straight now and the midlines are perfectly aligned. Only noticed yesterday after she mentioned it. So I 'sauntered' out of the ortho's office thinking that was the quickest least painful adjustment I have ever had. I was smiling to myself with glee. She told me my bottom teeth were going to be very painful but I disregarded that cos I felt fine.

Well guess what? today my whole jaw hurts, especially on the right hand side. All my teeth at the bottom are really sore and now that I think of it at the top they are sore too. I totally forgot how much it hurts after an adjustment.

I'm reading a really good book now by Louise Hay, its called: The power is within you. I think I have realised I have some serious issues about being single.

read you later.


Tuesday, July 29, 2008


I have an adjustment on wednesday but I can't believe it is that time already?! I bumped into three of my coworkers at the mall during the last weekend. But the thing is when I bumped into each of them I saw their girlfriends, and I was quite surprised because I guess I expected them to be prettier.

I was laughing inside at the one ladies teeth because they were badly discoloured and the other girlfriend I met looks like she is in her 40s. Anyway aside from the fact that I am obviously very judgemental as my brother informed me and also a fashion whore, I realised something I learned before and was only reminded of once again by God:

1. All the good men are taken.
2. The good men date regualar women, not bombshells.
3. It doesn't matter how many men fall for you/ tell you that are beautiful/progessive etc you could still end up alone.

So I have decided to do something for myself which is to dress the way I do (I have very expensive taste - I was horrifed when my friend told me she has not bought clothes for the entire year). So I have decided to dress as I do for myslelf and not for the approval of men or other people.

So I really reflected because I wanted to know where this whole mindset I have of judging people based on their looks comes from and I thought about the kinds of things I watch on TV: How do I look, Peter Perfect, and all the others. If it has to do with fashion I love it. But in this process I almost totally lost myself.

I guess I just feel like, I'm one of those women that everybody says is pretty and has a good body without working for it. But guess what? I'm totally single and whenever I see people with real intimacy my heart sinks. I would give anything to meet fewer men who have shallow and superficial crushes on me in exchange for real intimacy.

so yeah I am kind of in a small crisis, I hate when I feel this way but I know it will end... see you after my adjustment.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

ortho bloggers starting trends...

So this is me and my friend Hanlie. She's had her braces for a month and a half and lost almost 10kg so she looks much older than she is. Anyway so we were laughing about how un - cheese friendly braces are. Our lasagne was covered in cheese. So she wanted to get braces before she turns 40 and I was there to cheer her on. This is like one of the worst pictures ever at least my teeth are behaving. Strangely enough my teeth don't touch tip to tip anymore...

I had dinner with a friend on Sunday evening and we had the most intense conversation. We spoke about his family and lots of other random stuff you would only discuss if its the two of you.

He asked me how I feel about my looks and I told him I'm okay looking I guess. He told me he thinks I'm beautiful. We're going to watch a movie tomorrow probably after we're done at the gym. It was so refreshing to just talk to someone with no agenda's or expectations. Just to have an open and frank discussion.

I totally thought he was a hot piece of ass when I met him last year, (sorry Michelle and Karen) I know its not very good language but I thought he was totally immature. Don't get excited we're just friends. Besides I think I'm too jaded to be in a relationship but at least I'm going out.... sometimes I think I'm in crisis, because I found out recently that the last man I loved is getting married. It actually hurts a bit and I don't even know why. Anyway.

Off to meet a good friend at wine bar, still tired from gym last night even though the workout was the best!

hugs and kisses on your cheeks!

Tuesday, July 1, 2008

adjustment number 400

Ok maybe its not 400 but yeah I have had the braces for nine months now can't believe it. Bumped into my friend Hanlie when I went in for the adjustment this morning. And she was inspired by me to get the braces, I tell you we are starting trends! its amazing how many adults I know that have braces now its great. I went for a scan this afternoon as well and a made a new friend called madelyn, she wants to get braces too as soon as she can afford it. She said her friend has had hers for a month and people keep asking her why she wants to get them because she is 23 already. I told her I got mine at the age of 27 and if people have a problem with them its their choice.

At todays adjustment they told me that I will be wearing elastics from next month because they need to correct my bite, its supposed to be a class 2 bite i think?... the spaces on both sides where teeth were extracted moved differently this time. The space on the right is totally closed so no power chain there this month, thanks be to God! I did get a power chain on the left and also a power string. When she removed the previous chain and string and even the arch wire that was really painful today. I haven't had such a painful adjustment for a while. She had to keep stopping to give my mouth a rest because she could see it was hurting me.

She placed a much thicker wire on the top jaw and also told me that they discussed my treatment and because my teeth are moving so quickly they think the braces might come off sooner than they initially thought. Lets see what happens. Had pumpkin for dinner because I was starving! haven't eaten all day. Every month I forget how painful adjustments are. oh well, each adjustment means I'm closer to my perfect smile....

Monday, June 30, 2008

cut all my hair off and an adjustment tomorrow

So this is what my hair looked like before i cut it and then after. I have never ever had short hair, its always been really really long. I always had a huge afro and then i decided to cut all of it off to have a fresh start and also because its low maintenance. I'll be back tomorrow because I have an adjustment in the morning, can't believe its that time already. Its like time is moving at break neck speed....

Sunday, June 15, 2008

The bookfair

So I'm in CT and the book fair is quite impressive. Lots of distributors and publishers from India and Europe. Yesterday I spent the whole day drinking in the stalls and schmoozing. Ok what I really did was lots of networking which was good. I also attended some of the talks by women authors about their memoirs and that was quite cool.

This is totally supposed to be a working trip but I decided to have some fun in between and now I've missed the whole of the second day of the book fair because I was too exhuasted to get up. I'm doing some things on facebook at the moment and we want to go and see sex and the city later.

Cape Town is wet and miserable today, not that keen to go out. The plane trip cost me 3 grand and my mom was complaining about the expense and she is right, this is expensive but as far as I'm concerned its also an investment. So back to the plane, I am a tiny 5 foot 2 but I was squashed in the plane because the seating space is so small!! how do normal sized people fit in those seats? the food was really good even though it was really small. The trip was uncomfortable because I felt cramped in my tiny space and it was only an hour and 45 minutes but when it was over I was so relieved. So I think I have successfully written today off but tomorrow and Tuesday I will definately actually attend more of the talks.

ok checking in y'all now.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

eight months down and a successful adjustment to boot...

This morning I went in for my adjustment and that was relatively quick. She put a thicker wire in on the bottom and the top. She also replaced the power chains she had removed last month. She put what she called (I think) a power string onto the teeth where the power chains are as well because apparently the power chain is not strong enough to close the spaces itself.

when she was putting on all the extra plastic/elastic/ metal it was a bit painful not unbearable though. I think my mouth is used to the trauma. Oh no, I just realised I have to brush my teeth in a few minutes. what a nightmare.

She mentioned two things which made me feel a bit disheartened for the first time in my treatment. Firstly they have not even started correcting my bite, at the moment when I bite all my teeth touch perfectly. But in actuality it is not perfect because there should be a slight overbite (Laura where are you, I know you would know the technical term for this). So at some point I will have to use elastics which is the second thing I am really not looking forward to. I don't know why the idea of having to wear elatics gets to me. Its ridiculous.

Today there were two ladies who came in for braces for the first time. I watched them put the appliances for the one whom I am estimating is about 30 years old. She has been delaying her treatment for 8 years and she said that she is not going through with the surgery. I asked the ortho assistant what happens if people don't go for the surgery and she said sometimes the surgery is purely for cosmetic reasons. So this lady told me her sister had braces too and they were on for 5 years. I was like: wow! I admire her courage and she had such a positive attitude.

braces are one of the best decision I made for myself. My lovelife is pathetic at the moment but the rest of me is doing well.


Saturday, May 31, 2008

adjustment in two days

So I have an adjustment in three days so for the next couple of days I'm eating as much food as possible!! lol. because I'm quite sure my teeth are going to be traumatised after Tuesday so might as well eat for those 7 days.

I was out all week on a Technical Assistance visit to the regional offices that I supervise so I have alot of catching up to do with you all. I also had a chance to meet with my editor. That was an awesome experience. She edited a book called Emails from the edge by a Canadian writer and was full of suggestions to explore some themes in the book further as well add more value to it. She also had millions of grammatical changes and queries about sentence structure. Damn, this is a lot of work!

We met for about an hour and a half and now I need to sit down and review the changes. If I agree with them its up to me to decide if and how she should proceed. I'm getting tired just thinking about it. But I'm also very excited to take up the challenge.

I'll be going to Cape Town South Africa in a couple of weeks for the book fair. It presents an opportunity to meet up with publishers, aspiring authors, published authors and book lovers in general. I'm really excited about that. Imagine if this book actually got published? Besides the fact that it might help other people it will help me to launch my new career and yeah, help people.

Shontell you asked for the title, well I came up with three which were quite similar but I'm not sure about any of them anymore. My editor said she liked part of one of them but she didn't seem too keen on any of them and keeps telling me I need to pray about it so yes I think she is not feeling any of the titles I selected. She also gave me quite a bit of guidance in terms of the blurb that should be sent to the publishers and so much. Help! Can't wait to be done with this part its still too much work, anyway at least I enjoy it. This book is a memoir about my experience of clinical depression and how I recovered from it. I just think that its something that alot of women, especially professional working women, can relate to, no matter what their age. I want the target to be youngish people but my editor says she feels its geared more towards female people so yeah lets see what happens because we still have quite a bit to discuss.

let me catch up with the rest of you it feels like its been ages...

Sunday, May 25, 2008


So its been four quick weeks since my last adjustment and my front teeth have moved quite considereably. After they added a button to my wonky tooth and a power chain its amazing to see how much my bite has been corrected. The midlines are almost perfect. This is how my bite looks before the last adjustment and then today.

This week has been a bit hectic cos one of my bes friends gave birth so I was in and out of hospital checking on her, ferrying people to visit and dropping what she needed. I can't believe there are people that would call me when they need help?! Its an awesome privilege....

As for my book, this week I was supposed to get the authors bio and sample chapters to the publishers that responded to my email but as usual I was too lazy. Besides my social life and working hard in my job I'm shocked I get any other things done...

Saturday, May 17, 2008

where to start?!

Hi all!

Gosh I missed you! Spent some quality time with all of you and it looks good! Laura I even like your tracks!

Well its been a very hectic period, with work and I don't even know what else. I haven't posted for a while cos I've been too busy and did not have anything major that was teeth related to post. I was out of town for the last 8 days, up north east in this tiny little town and my wire decided to come out of the band on the right upper jaw right at the back. Ok most of the time it was ok but when I was in pain it hurt like a bitch! so after like 6 days of wondering why the wax was not helping and freaking out when I figured out why, I came home and went to the ortho for an emergency appointment. (There was no ortho in the town so I had to wait until I come home).

Getting that appointment was a bit of a schlep because the girl who answers the for phone for the ortho assistants is a stupid 18 year old freak. No offense to the young bloggers out there but this girl was particularly stupid. She didn't even know what an emergency appointment is. Anyway I got my appointment and it was so simple, she just clipped the wire and that was it. So yeah, wired lady, these things happen to others as well.

As for my personal life, oh well that has been a bit dramatic of late. My ex reappeared on the scene for a few days claiming that he still cares and blah blah. So I had this dilemma because my new crush is like my very own personal Chris Brown, tall and well, brown. But that sorted itself out because I told my ex I don't really want a boyfriend and we had a bit of an ugly conversation because I freaked out on him the same way I freaked out on my Chris Brown and he disappeared on me 6 days ago. As for Chris Brown, he's emotionally unavailable, has MAJOR SERIOUS COMMITMENT ISSUES and is just too good looking for his own good. I don't think a man has ever had this effect on me. But yeah, today I deleted his cellphone number because he's playing games with me and I always feel so bad afterwards. He makes plans and then cancels them at the last minute. Yesterday he texts me to tell me he is really depressed and I should let him know when I'm on the way to his house so he can come home because he's in a bar. Barely 30 minutes later he texts me to tell me he is going to a "binge" party and can we rather meet for breakfast today?!!! This is the third time he's pulled this stunt and I can't take it anymore. WHAT THE HELL IS A BINGE PARTY ANYWAY?

Well folks I hit the roof! I refused to hug or kiss him and I refused to meet him for brekky. So since then we have not spoken but as nice as he seems, being a humanitarian worker for the United Nations and as addicted as I have become to his conversation because he is just so damn smart, I have to walk away. I've just started to like him too much and its obvious that he will never like me enough. It hurts but he is somoene else's problem, err, prince. I reckon that sometimes you have to hurt yourself and let go before the man hurts you even more. Its hard but hey, as long as I am getting all tangled up with these two I can't meet the man that is right for me and really cares about me.

I totally cut my hair, its a blunt bob and I have never ever had short hair so its a different experience, but so far I am enjoying it and most people have responded positively. A few of the guys were like: "You did what?'' it was so funny. They act as if hair does not grow back.

I finished my book a month and a half ago and at the moment it is with an editor. Man that was a relief, no wonder there are people who do this full time its just so much work and my book is a relatively short one! Anyway I have a few deadlines coming up because I need to start sending the synopsis (summary of the book) to the publishers that requested it. Oprah here I come!

Work is going good aside from the fact that the office driver and cleaning lady wrote a complaint letter to my supervisor about the way I treat them. I was so sad after because I thought we had a good relationship but I guess not. So from now on when I'm around them I'm going to walk as if I'm on eggshells. I mean who ever heard of writing a complaint letter after you parked the freakin company vehicle behind my vehicle and went home on THREE separate occasions so I freaked out the third time. I just wrote an apology letter back because I thought to myself, not worth it to stoop to their level. I mean the cleaning lady of all people. Its not my fault she thinks I'm a spoiled rich kid cos I can afford a car and she can't. To be perfectly honest I think its a personal vendetta cos never in my (okay less than 6 years) career have I had a complaint letter written against me. My eyes started watering and my supervisor was furious because she thought it was unfair. I gave her a hug to calm her down, I can't understand why she is so fiercely loyal but it helps.

Yeah yesterday was a very dramatic day and I'm glad its over. Just needed to get all of this out. I loved the link on Bridgets latest post, it talks all about how beneficial blogging is and yeah its true...

Saturday, April 26, 2008

new button and power chain = pain!

So yesterday I had an adjustment and it had been two long months. The good thing is my teeth moved quite a bit and because they are moving much faster than they thought I have to go for adjustments once a month now.

Anyway they put a button on my one wonky stubborn tooth and a powerchain. They also put two power chains on two teeth just before the small spaces where the extractions were done. This time they are trying to move those two teeth back to make more space for the crowding right at the front. As for the teeth on the bottom jaw, they aren't doing any work on those because they are perfect now. But today is one whole day and half after an adjustment and ALL and I mean ALL my teeth are so sore!

Yesterday I banged my desk in frustration at work because my adjustment was at 8am and I overslept so I didn't eat anything ahead of the time. I had some soup last night which was good and now I'm going to have some rice. Aaah what we do for good teeth.

Most people can see the difference in my teeth now though and so far I'm happy with my teeth. When there is a change I'll post a picture. In the meantime I'm going to keep on keeping on...

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

adjustment in two days

well its been a loooooong time since i checked on my ortho buddies. I have an adjustment on Friday and i'll here what the ortho says then. The spaces where two teeth (is that correct) were extracted are almost closed. I checked a couple of weeks ago and i can't believe how quickly my teeth moved those powerchains are something else. There is still a tiny space on the left where pieces of food get stuck and irritate the teeth but other than the spaces are almost closed. I managed to finish my book and have sent it off to an editor and been invited to speak at the South Africa Women Engineers conference. I can't believe there are people who think i should be a role model its crazy.

Monday, April 7, 2008


so its been aaaaages since i last spent time with my blogger friends. Great news though, being the clever person that i am i postponed my last adjustment which means my treatment was postponed by almost a month because my next adjustment is only next week. in the meantime my teeth were doing pretty ok. today i had to go in for a teeth cleaning which was not too bad, but i am really good with my teeth hygiene now ever since that last infection i had. the brackets at the back on my upper jaw are really irritating my gums, strange. maybe the teeth are moving or something not sure? although my bite has changed a bit over the last few weeks.

now for the real news!! i sent my manuscript to a proper editor last weekend and she loved it. i have two more chapters to send to her and once she has finished editing it properly for me i start sending it to publishers!!! this is what it looks like now (see pic above).

ok let me catch up with y'all its been a while...


Saturday, March 22, 2008

i postponed my next adjustment

So i was supposed to have an adjustment on thursday but i postponed it and i forgot to call the lady to ask her when it will take place. my teeth have moved and there is a piece of wire at the front teeth on the bottom jaw that is poking my cheek. cheeky wire!

i've realised that i have been clenching my teeth alot lately. at first i thought it was during the night cos when i wake up i have a headache and my jaws are locked into place, but now i've realised that i do a bit of clenching during the day as well.

well it is a stressful period so that could be the reason. so i completely forgot to call today to find out when my appointment was postponed to because i don't want to delay my treatment. nothing new except clenching and postponement. someone asked me last night when the wires come off and i didn't want to say i still have another year and a half because of how long it sounds in my head when actually its not that bad.

something very interesting, this morning i spent the whole time cleaning up at the church for easter and the Anglicans are always really really good with food. so of course someone came with hot cross buns and cookies. i tend to shy away from cookies because i'm not such a big fan except of chips ahoy and because they are usually too hard for me to eat. but lately i've been biting into lots of the food i eat. its really strange but i remember reading on the archwired website that after about six months you should be able to bit into hard foodstuffs so maybe that's it. i feel much better today, more like my old self. i guess it differs from day to day because yesterday i didn't even want to get out of bed. thankfully my boys made me get out and today i did some service at the church and that helped quite a bit. i guess i just need to give myself time to heal.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

can't wait till the pain stops

i can't wait until i don't feel sad when i hear other people talk to their special person. that hurts, lol. today work was okay. i'm a bit anxious because tomorrow we have to attend a training with the person (work colleague) who broke my heart. i really hate socialising with him these days. i'm really worried because i can't seem to let go. i'm so confused. my teeth are doing very well i must say, i have an adjustment in two days. so tomorrow i am eating solid food for the whole day.

oh yes and i called to find out if i got accepted for masters, not just yet, i'll probably know for sure on thursday. i think i am way too ambitious for my own good, lol. well till adjustment time, cheerio!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

the bastard was cheating on me

so yesterday evening i sent my ex a text message just to extend an olive branch and also because surprisingly enough i'm not bitter. so anyway the next thing i know i'm getting text messages from someone who calls herself his 'wifey' threatening me to leave him alone. i was stunned and of course devastated. then like three times the fool tired to call me and again this morning he tried to call me. of course being the strong independent woman i am, i just ignored his calls. i don't see why i should allow him to sleep well by talking to him and telling him that its okay that he decided he wanted both of us at the same time till it became too much for him to handle... i think i feel better today. yesterday i felt numb. i have an adjustment coming up, on thursday to be precise... i also need to concentrate on school cos i found out on friday that i got accepted to do my masters so i need to start working on that now. wow i can't believe it, i'm a statistic...

Friday, March 14, 2008

no words

today i kind of freaked out big time cos my boyfriend broke up with me. i don't even know what his reasons are. its like one minute you connect with someone emotionally and the next he tells you that you are a nice person and not the one with the problem.

i left the office cos i was literally sobbing and i knew i was losing it cos i tried to open the gate of the office with my remote for the gate at home... so at first i was really hurting, humiliated, angry, confused and lots of other bad emotions. i think now i'm just numb. i just have a headache from crying the whole day.

on a lighter note, my teeth are doing really well. when WL was talking about her drama i could relate because today i feel the way she did when she went to her last appointment at the ortho. i forgot how much a man can hurt you. a friend of mine gave me the: "i told you so line" and he told me that i should be strong because there is more to life. of course there is, but at this moment that's not what i need to hear. at this moment i just need time to regain my self respect and focus on healing. i feel like a stupid fool for thinking this guy really cares and it could work.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

my teeth have moved!!!

so here is a picture of my teeth that i took last night. sorry about the fact that this is the most hideous picture but this is the best i can do. if you look really carefully you will see the change in my skew tooth. before i got the braces i could not even see the tooth next to the skew tooth. it was almost completely covered by the pesky took which is shifting slowly and which is evident in the first picture from the last post.

everyday i brush my teeth now and floss (I'm starting to get the hang of flossing with all this metal now) i can floss between my skew tooth and the one right next to it! its incredible because each time i look at that tooth i'm astounded because this is the first time in my life i actually have it, lol. it was always osbcured by the wonky tooth.

at my last adjustment the oral hygienist tried to point out the change to me because my teeth had moved quite significantly, but i could not see it but boy do i see it now! the midlines have also moved off quite a bit and before they were perfect so i'm not sure about that. my brother says i should not worry about it because it will correct itself in the end. i can't recall checking the spaces in my mouth where teeth had been extracted but i did it recently and the spaces are closing quite well.

i can't believe how long it took me to to see this movement but yeah its there. i do think the last adjustment made a very big difference. it was not as uncomfortable as usual but the first three days my teeth were as sensitive as hell. but i am biting into really soft foods with my front teeth and generally my teeth are doing very well. i enjoy brushing my teeth although it takes a while because there is so much metal. i have to brush, rinse several times, clean with the other strange brush they gave me in between the metal and then floss. then rinse and then only i'm done. aaarghh its such a process now but anything to avoid having an infection again because of not flossing.

as for the rest of my life. there was a little bit of drama last week but i've reached a point where i've decided to make my job work for me. its a really good place to work and could lead to lots of opportunities. besides that, i've decided not to let the incident with my mini heartbreak stop me from making the best of this job. it took time for me to get to this point but i reckon i am healing.
i guess in the long run its best i had to go through it and i know one day i will see the reason why. this weekend for me was quite good. spent quite a bit of time with my gay boys and they told me that i am hot even for gay men.... i think that's a compliment.

i've totally changed the end of my book, but i'm happy to be working on it again. i missed you guys last week but i'll catch up with you this week.

lots and lots of love.

Monday, March 3, 2008

what gives?

so this is what my teeth looked like a couple of says before i got the braces. the main reason i had to get them was because the teeth in my top jaw were completely crowded. the bottom jaw was relatively perfect. so what they did was to remove two of the teeth closer to the back (in the top jaw only) to make more space for the teeth that at the front. so the spaces at the back are closing. strangely enough the one on the left is closing up faster than the space on the right. my brother had his braces when he was a teenager and i always make him smile so that i can have an indication of what my teeth will look like in a year and a half. (that is if eveything goes according to schedule).

The second picture was taken before any movement started with the teeth right in the front. at the moment my midlines are almost perfect although my brother says they could never get his perfect. i have tried on several occasions to get pictures of my teeth now but i can never get them clear enough. i've had my digicam for two and a half years and my mom calls it crap. i tried with a friends camera cos she has a nicer one but she got tired of trying to help me get a good one even when we set the camera onto the mode laura told me about.

so this is the best i can do for now. the teeth on the right hand lower jaw is really sensitive if i drink something. okay i have had my braces for six months and sometimes i have days like today when i hate them. sometimes they cause more trouble than good, but thats not the worst on my mind. this week i have a trip for work. and the person who broke my heart will be there. i am really not looking forward to that. i hope its better this time. there's nothing like thinking you have started to heal and taking four steps back. God please give me strength. i am really not looking forward to having to socialise with him because i don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. but the saddest part of the whole thing is that it has made me kind of withdraw emotionally from work colleagues. i don't really let them into my heart anymore. i just come in do my part and leave. i don't care about other people that much anymore.

that's it from me. i'll miss you guys!

Thursday, February 21, 2008

a not too bad adjustment

yesterday i had an adjustment, i think it was the third one so far? anyway, whatever it was it did not take too long. they put two new buttons in my mouth and a power chain was fitted on each side of the top jaw. she did that to speed up the closing of the extractions or rather the spaces.

damn but that power chain hurts when they put it on. my jaw still hurts quite a bit today but its not as bad as the last adjustment because i can still eat some things. its strange though because the teeth to which they attached the power chains are so sensitive so i can't eat with them. i can chew with the teeth right at the back and also the ones right in front. but its still hard.

someone please tell me, are the power chains going to affect my ability to kiss? cos i haven't seen my boyfriend for ages but he's coming down for the next two months and boy will i be sad if i can't kiss him! lol.

the only part of the adjustment that was quite traumatic was when she put the buttons in, there was something she used which burned part of my lip and the tongue separator bruised the inside of my mouth. other than that she was done in an hour and i was out of there. i settled my latest bill yesterday and in total so far it has cost me almost N$ 4 000, and those ugly bitches at the reception area have the nerve to be rude to me! anyway i told the Dr. this time and he claims that alot of people complain but he also said he will adress it again.

first of all if you are ugly (i know this is a really nasty thing to say) why must you be ugly to people that are coming in for treatment as well. fat dogs. ok let me stop being ugly too now and check on the rest of you all...

Monday, February 18, 2008

Gum infection :(

great news! i succesfully got myself a gum infection and am currently in pain if i try to chew anything harder than liquid.

since my last adjustment of an adjustment there was alot of extra metal in my mouth. they added two bands on my bottom molars and also added extra wire on the top and bottom teeth of my left hand side. apparently those teeth no longer need to move because they are in the right place now. so she put wire on them in the form of an 8 so that they stay put.

the result of this is that i could not eat proper food for like three weeks. last week i started eating normal food but not before a visit to the oral hygienist that type A personality bitch. sorry but she is. she always speaks in a hurry and rushes you out of her (cleaning place/room). anyway so i went because i would brush and find a bunch of blood on my toothbrush after each brush. ever since the second adjustment i have been brushing my teeth twice so that just exacerbated the swelling.

they were really swollen and when she cleaned my teeth we realised that. granted i was not flossing cos i could not work out how to floss with all the extra metal but now i am doing even though the floss keeps getting shredded. once its finished i'm going to look for something better.

one more day and then i think it will be my third adjustment i think. whatever it is i am so not looking forward to it. now i am just going to gracefully hobble over to my bed cos i just came from the gym and had not been for three lonnnnnng weeks.....


Friday, February 15, 2008

this is not my life anymore...mini heartbreak

one day a girl was ready for an adventure. she started a new job. she met new people and was excited about all the new opportunities in store. the girl thought she was ready for change. the next few months all she did was learn; about her new role in her job, about herself and about what she wanted in life.

over time she formed new relationships with people in her free time and at the workplace. the girl was having fun. she was single and enjoying life. she felt complete even though she was single. sometimes the girl got stressed out at work. she became good friends with a coworker who consoled her. in the meantime she met lots of men in many different places who liked her body but she never met anyone who interested her, even though she was ready for love.

all the while her friendship with her coworker grew deeper and stronger over time. she only realized how deeply at a workshop. she saw him with another woman and felt jealous and very sad. suddenly and without consciously choosing to, she had fallen in love with him.

she could not understand why she felt that way. he picked it up that she was sad and reached out to her. he stroked her hair and pushed some strands behind her ear.she could not tell if he felt the same way. she was terrified of telling him because she knew his stand on workplace romance. she tried to deny her feelings, but one day they came out and bit her in the ass! lol.

Suddenly she gave in to her feelings and exposed herself. she panicked! At first he was kind and admitted he once felt the same. then he too panicked. he lashed out and pushed her away.she begged and pleaded with him to talk about it. she was malicious and hostile. all to no avail, he shut her out completely. her spirit was broken. she lost her confidante. she was looking at him but he was looking the other way. as long as she looked at him she would not meet her prince.

she went on and cut contact. after months of tears she started to put the pieces together. she knew she was not fully recovered when he spoke to her about another woman. Didn't he know it was painful for her to hear? she told him but he continued and told her even more the next day.she realised the feelings for him were not gone only hidden deep in her heart. she was shocked because she had started to love someone else!

even though her heart was bleeding she had to turn away from him too. she knew if she behaved as before, the love might resurface. she knew it would never be returned. this time her heart was not the only one at stake but also the heart of him she had started to love. so, she decided to be brave and let go, until maybe she decided she still wanted to be friends again. even though it was painful she had to do it because he showed her he was not her prince. and she deserved a prince...

so she got herself together, called her girlfriends and went out to her favourite restaurant because this is not her life anymore...but something which happened and she decided to move on.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

my road trip north east!

i just got back from the north east and it was awesome! i'm so exhausted cos i did most of the driving on my own but it was so fabulous. i had an excellent co-pilot and the scenery was amazing! my teeth are much better, i've been eating most solid foods all week. Thank God! because i was really really hungry last week and grumpy cos i was deprived of real food.

the hotel was absolutely stunning and all the food was so fresh. i missed my ortho buddies so i'm going to get some rest and catch up with the rest of you all later or tomorrow. i still need to put some time aside to prep for sunday school.

i'm going back up in two weeks time because we'll be opening an office there and i'm going to need to be very hands on with that process all the time. but the long awful drive was worth it. as soon as we got to the hotel and saw the view, we knew it. this is my coworker/friend saara with me in the pics we took at the pool. i posted these ones cos they give you a good idea of what the view was like. i have an adjustment coming up in three weeks which i am dreading. but its the price i have to pay for good teeth i guess, besides like michelle said if not for the braces i would not have met all the nice people that i did.


Sunday, January 27, 2008

i can eat food again!

on friday for the first time in over a week i ate normal food. my teeth are still really sensitive when i try to eat fruit or chicken/meat but most soft foods i can eat again. i REALLY REALLY missed food. i was so hungry this week and nutri shakes were not doing it for me anymore. i'm petite but i have a fast metabolism so i need to eat proper food or small meals through out the day.

say, i was wondering if any of you also study the teeth of every person you meet? i have one colleague that is quite cute but her midlines are completely off. isn't it amazing that you can live your whole life and not notice it if you don't have the knowledge? her whole face looks sort of skew. can't believe she was never advised to get braces. then again alot of people are but refuse. i was only advised to get them when i was in university and i refused, cos my already poor self esteem could not take it. besides i would have had glasses and copper brackets. but i find myself studying the teeth of every person i talk to now. there are very few people with good teeth. lots of people have over bites. most of my kids in sunday school have had their barces taken off in the last few months but its quite common among kids.

now that i'm all grown up i know people don't only like me for the way i look. i was in the supermarket and bumped into a former classmate from high school. the first thing he asked me was: aren't you a bit old for braces? but i reckon every single one of us adult ortho bloggers are inspiring others to get them. i know two people that want to get braces, the lady is 38 and the dude is 33 and are considering braces cos i have them. so goodlooking fellow brace face's, we are setting trends! Bridget is right braces are the new pink....

here's a picture i took a couple of weeks ago with one of my girlfriends that is actually based in new york. she was so proud of me for getting the braces. she's asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding later on this year. I'm wearing the itty bitty white skirt and my homegirl is next to me. that's how petite i am, i had no idea till i saw myself standing next to people that are also petite, or rather, also short, but not as small as i am.

read you later.

Wednesday, January 23, 2008

second adjustment of adjustment

So on monday i noticed that there was a piece attached to the arch wire on my bottom jaw which was sliding backwards and forwards on the archwire. i kept debating in my head about whether or not to call my ortho and then i decided to do it.

BIG MISTAKE! they had to take four of the additional bands that they had put in my mouth out and replace them with bigger ones that would not break. so i had to lay upside down for almost two hours. i am so cranky right now. i'm just so hungry because i have not enjoyed a proper meal in days! my teeth are so sensitive right now its crazy. i'm getting worried this annoying pain is not going to go away. i guess the good thing is that my teeth are not really throbbing they are only painful if i try to chew. damn i miss real food though.

they did tell me some good news. apparently my bottom teeth are close to perfect so they should be done in a couple of months. thank the Lord. i can't take much more of this extra large band in my mouth.

today i was feeling a little sad about my book and some other reason that i can't remember right now. i gave two out of the six chapters to an editor friend to read through it and tell me what he thinks. he trashed it the first time and he did it this time again so that was hard. i've decided to take it to two other people cos he did not give me any constructive feedback at all except that its awful. i can't understand how someone cannot have even one nice thing to say so i think I'd like a couple more opinions first, that was just too much negative energy for me.

oh the other thing getting me down is that i really want to see my boyfriend but i will be out of town for three weeks and when he comes i might not be here. if that happens i am so going to freak. i have not seen him for over a month and its getting to me. i think the other thing that is getting me down is that i can't speak properly because of all the extra metal they added to my teeth. so when i speak it sounds a bit like parts of my mouth are numb. kind of like coming from the dentist after a filling and you speak funny because you cant move the side of the face where they put the filling. i hope it gets better. imagine my boyfriend coming from sea and meeting this confident woman that opens her mouth and speaks like a child with a sore throat. maybe he'll think its sexy?

hope y'all have some good news or even some entertaining drama to make me laugh...

Friday, January 18, 2008

braces make me look like a kid?

something shontell said on laura's post inspired this post.yesterday i was at a friends house and she was talking to a very pretty lady. when my friend introduced me to this pretty lady she asked my friend if i am a teenager while i was sitting right there! ok the only thing i can think of is that she assumed that because i was not wild like her and of course because of the tracks as they have made people refer to me like a child on two other occasions.

my first bill at the ortho was due and the receptionist asked me who would be paying it?!!!! i gave her that 'I'm a 27 year old woman how can you not see that' tone when i answered her and she was too embarassed for words. actually this is the story of my life so it can't be the tracks. its strange cos i feel like a woman. i feel like a responsible adult and i dress like one. maybe i should just be grateful. nobody can top this one. seriously.

i had my second adjustment today and that was not too bad. i had my oral hygienist who was really nice. she told me all about her boyfriend. tall, dark and hansome is how she described him and i was like: wow. she is so much nicer than most people who would never tell you anything about their themselves let alone their love life.

okay going to do my prayers now and then sleep. long day ahead tomorrow...

Thursday, January 17, 2008

withdrawals when i look at my laptop

so i'm busy editing my book at the moment before i start sending it to professional editors. my deadline was this weekend but i am way too exhausted to push myself even more. i've edited about half of it so far and now i am completely wasted. i'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms when i think of my laptop. as if that is not enough tomorrow i have an evil adjustment. my teeth have been normal the past couple of days but i've been careful not to eat anything that requires alot of chewing. on tuesday was not my adjustment it was just to get the evil seps in. i hate those things. and some of the people at the ortho are evil bitches from hell. when they put the things in they hurt you but they act as if they are giving you a free manicure...

one more day before second adjustment!

Sunday, January 13, 2008

in pain right now

ok so i have my second adjustment on tuesday the 15th Jan (is it a tuesday i need to go double check). and my teeth were a bit sensitive over the festive season especially if i ate chicken strips or meat. but last night it was the worst it has been in a while. i mean sometimes my teeth ache after eating something really tough but this was a whole other level of pain that i forgot about! damn... i took two painkillers and i felt like i was high afterwards. its like the one minute i'm chatting to my sister about bozeman (she dissed us and moved to the states with her hubby) and the next minute i'm on the floor about to pass out and speaking in slow motion. i clean forgot how bad the pain can be. the worst part is by the time i passed out on my bed the teeth on the right side of my mouth were still throbbing. i'll post a pic of my new bite soon because it has changed a bit, its amazing really. my extraction on the left hand side has shrunk quite a bit. or rather the space is getting smaller and the teeth on the upper right hand side have moved signifcantly towards the left. that's what makes the pain worth it. i had coffee with a friend the other day and he told me braces suit me. that must be the first time someone did not complain and ask: "when did you get those things?"

over and out.

Tuesday, January 8, 2008

more random thoughts

So this is my cutie snowy just after she came from a doggy bath at posh dog. she was sulking cos she did not want to be left there.
when i fetched her she was clinging to me and she refused to face the camera even though i begged and pleaded with her so you only get to see her from these strange angles....

Wednesday, January 2, 2008

the drama that is my life...

okay so my teeth have started moving. one of the spaces where the extractions were done is starting to shrink and my skew tooth and the gum around it hurts like alot. it does feel like its moving although i don't have what 99% of adult ortho bloggers call 'loose teeth'. so the temporary discomfort and pain i'm experiencing is nothing compared to the drama that is my life at the moment.

this holiday was relaxing and also a bit mediocre although i think i needed it. i had a huge bust up with my father and i feel like i'm tired of all the drama that happens between us. maybe i should just cut my losses and accept we will never be close. either that or he comes to see the shrink with me. hmmm wonder what i should do. probably the latter but that involves having to go and try to convince him that shrinks are not for mad people. not sure if i have the strength for that right now.

as for my love life. well what can i say aside from the fact that i think both of us are mad. we've only known each other 3 months and we made it official. i miss my marine engineer though because he's at sea at the moment and i am literally counting down the days until he is back. you know i am not so sure how much of this 'only getting to see my sailor once a month thing' i can take. but that's not the worst of it, there's more. when he is back i have to go for my second adjustment which means while my cutie is here i'm going to be in alot of pain and have that familiar ' my teeth have been sewn shut with a metal piece of thread feeling'. whats a girl to do? i think i should go out and get a life...