About Me

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windhoek, Namibia

Saturday, March 22, 2008

i postponed my next adjustment

So i was supposed to have an adjustment on thursday but i postponed it and i forgot to call the lady to ask her when it will take place. my teeth have moved and there is a piece of wire at the front teeth on the bottom jaw that is poking my cheek. cheeky wire!

i've realised that i have been clenching my teeth alot lately. at first i thought it was during the night cos when i wake up i have a headache and my jaws are locked into place, but now i've realised that i do a bit of clenching during the day as well.

well it is a stressful period so that could be the reason. so i completely forgot to call today to find out when my appointment was postponed to because i don't want to delay my treatment. nothing new except clenching and postponement. someone asked me last night when the wires come off and i didn't want to say i still have another year and a half because of how long it sounds in my head when actually its not that bad.

something very interesting, this morning i spent the whole time cleaning up at the church for easter and the Anglicans are always really really good with food. so of course someone came with hot cross buns and cookies. i tend to shy away from cookies because i'm not such a big fan except of chips ahoy and because they are usually too hard for me to eat. but lately i've been biting into lots of the food i eat. its really strange but i remember reading on the archwired website that after about six months you should be able to bit into hard foodstuffs so maybe that's it. i feel much better today, more like my old self. i guess it differs from day to day because yesterday i didn't even want to get out of bed. thankfully my boys made me get out and today i did some service at the church and that helped quite a bit. i guess i just need to give myself time to heal.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

can't wait till the pain stops

i can't wait until i don't feel sad when i hear other people talk to their special person. that hurts, lol. today work was okay. i'm a bit anxious because tomorrow we have to attend a training with the person (work colleague) who broke my heart. i really hate socialising with him these days. i'm really worried because i can't seem to let go. i'm so confused. my teeth are doing very well i must say, i have an adjustment in two days. so tomorrow i am eating solid food for the whole day.

oh yes and i called to find out if i got accepted for masters, not just yet, i'll probably know for sure on thursday. i think i am way too ambitious for my own good, lol. well till adjustment time, cheerio!

Sunday, March 16, 2008

the bastard was cheating on me

so yesterday evening i sent my ex a text message just to extend an olive branch and also because surprisingly enough i'm not bitter. so anyway the next thing i know i'm getting text messages from someone who calls herself his 'wifey' threatening me to leave him alone. i was stunned and of course devastated. then like three times the fool tired to call me and again this morning he tried to call me. of course being the strong independent woman i am, i just ignored his calls. i don't see why i should allow him to sleep well by talking to him and telling him that its okay that he decided he wanted both of us at the same time till it became too much for him to handle... i think i feel better today. yesterday i felt numb. i have an adjustment coming up, on thursday to be precise... i also need to concentrate on school cos i found out on friday that i got accepted to do my masters so i need to start working on that now. wow i can't believe it, i'm a statistic...

Friday, March 14, 2008

no words

today i kind of freaked out big time cos my boyfriend broke up with me. i don't even know what his reasons are. its like one minute you connect with someone emotionally and the next he tells you that you are a nice person and not the one with the problem.

i left the office cos i was literally sobbing and i knew i was losing it cos i tried to open the gate of the office with my remote for the gate at home... so at first i was really hurting, humiliated, angry, confused and lots of other bad emotions. i think now i'm just numb. i just have a headache from crying the whole day.

on a lighter note, my teeth are doing really well. when WL was talking about her drama i could relate because today i feel the way she did when she went to her last appointment at the ortho. i forgot how much a man can hurt you. a friend of mine gave me the: "i told you so line" and he told me that i should be strong because there is more to life. of course there is, but at this moment that's not what i need to hear. at this moment i just need time to regain my self respect and focus on healing. i feel like a stupid fool for thinking this guy really cares and it could work.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

my teeth have moved!!!

so here is a picture of my teeth that i took last night. sorry about the fact that this is the most hideous picture but this is the best i can do. if you look really carefully you will see the change in my skew tooth. before i got the braces i could not even see the tooth next to the skew tooth. it was almost completely covered by the pesky took which is shifting slowly and which is evident in the first picture from the last post.

everyday i brush my teeth now and floss (I'm starting to get the hang of flossing with all this metal now) i can floss between my skew tooth and the one right next to it! its incredible because each time i look at that tooth i'm astounded because this is the first time in my life i actually have it, lol. it was always osbcured by the wonky tooth.

at my last adjustment the oral hygienist tried to point out the change to me because my teeth had moved quite significantly, but i could not see it but boy do i see it now! the midlines have also moved off quite a bit and before they were perfect so i'm not sure about that. my brother says i should not worry about it because it will correct itself in the end. i can't recall checking the spaces in my mouth where teeth had been extracted but i did it recently and the spaces are closing quite well.

i can't believe how long it took me to to see this movement but yeah its there. i do think the last adjustment made a very big difference. it was not as uncomfortable as usual but the first three days my teeth were as sensitive as hell. but i am biting into really soft foods with my front teeth and generally my teeth are doing very well. i enjoy brushing my teeth although it takes a while because there is so much metal. i have to brush, rinse several times, clean with the other strange brush they gave me in between the metal and then floss. then rinse and then only i'm done. aaarghh its such a process now but anything to avoid having an infection again because of not flossing.

as for the rest of my life. there was a little bit of drama last week but i've reached a point where i've decided to make my job work for me. its a really good place to work and could lead to lots of opportunities. besides that, i've decided not to let the incident with my mini heartbreak stop me from making the best of this job. it took time for me to get to this point but i reckon i am healing.
i guess in the long run its best i had to go through it and i know one day i will see the reason why. this weekend for me was quite good. spent quite a bit of time with my gay boys and they told me that i am hot even for gay men.... i think that's a compliment.

i've totally changed the end of my book, but i'm happy to be working on it again. i missed you guys last week but i'll catch up with you this week.

lots and lots of love.

Monday, March 3, 2008

what gives?

so this is what my teeth looked like a couple of says before i got the braces. the main reason i had to get them was because the teeth in my top jaw were completely crowded. the bottom jaw was relatively perfect. so what they did was to remove two of the teeth closer to the back (in the top jaw only) to make more space for the teeth that at the front. so the spaces at the back are closing. strangely enough the one on the left is closing up faster than the space on the right. my brother had his braces when he was a teenager and i always make him smile so that i can have an indication of what my teeth will look like in a year and a half. (that is if eveything goes according to schedule).

The second picture was taken before any movement started with the teeth right in the front. at the moment my midlines are almost perfect although my brother says they could never get his perfect. i have tried on several occasions to get pictures of my teeth now but i can never get them clear enough. i've had my digicam for two and a half years and my mom calls it crap. i tried with a friends camera cos she has a nicer one but she got tired of trying to help me get a good one even when we set the camera onto the mode laura told me about.

so this is the best i can do for now. the teeth on the right hand lower jaw is really sensitive if i drink something. okay i have had my braces for six months and sometimes i have days like today when i hate them. sometimes they cause more trouble than good, but thats not the worst on my mind. this week i have a trip for work. and the person who broke my heart will be there. i am really not looking forward to that. i hope its better this time. there's nothing like thinking you have started to heal and taking four steps back. God please give me strength. i am really not looking forward to having to socialise with him because i don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. but the saddest part of the whole thing is that it has made me kind of withdraw emotionally from work colleagues. i don't really let them into my heart anymore. i just come in do my part and leave. i don't care about other people that much anymore.

that's it from me. i'll miss you guys!