crisis?

I have an adjustment on wednesday but I can't believe it is that time already?! I bumped into three of my coworkers at the mall during the last weekend. But the thing is when I bumped into each of them I saw their girlfriends, and I was quite surprised because I guess I expected them to be prettier.

I was laughing inside at the one ladies teeth because they were badly discoloured and the other girlfriend I met looks like she is in her 40s. Anyway aside from the fact that I am obviously very judgemental as my brother informed me and also a fashion whore, I realised something I learned before and was only reminded of once again by God:

1. All the good men are taken.
2. The good men date regualar women, not bombshells.
3. It doesn't matter how many men fall for you/ tell you that are beautiful/progessive etc you could still end up alone.

So I have decided to do something for myself which is to dress the way I do (I have very expensive taste - I was horrifed when my friend told me she has not bought clothes for the entire year). So I have decided to dress as I do for myslelf and not for the approval of men or other people.

So I really reflected because I wanted to know where this whole mindset I have of judging people based on their looks comes from and I thought about the kinds of things I watch on TV: How do I look, Peter Perfect, and all the others. If it has to do with fashion I love it. But in this process I almost totally lost myself.

I guess I just feel like, I'm one of those women that everybody says is pretty and has a good body without working for it. But guess what? I'm totally single and whenever I see people with real intimacy my heart sinks. I would give anything to meet fewer men who have shallow and superficial crushes on me in exchange for real intimacy.

so yeah I am kind of in a small crisis, I hate when I feel this way but I know it will end... see you after my adjustment.