i postponed my next adjustment

So i was supposed to have an adjustment on thursday but i postponed it and i forgot to call the lady to ask her when it will take place. my teeth have moved and there is a piece of wire at the front teeth on the bottom jaw that is poking my cheek. cheeky wire!

i've realised that i have been clenching my teeth alot lately. at first i thought it was during the night cos when i wake up i have a headache and my jaws are locked into place, but now i've realised that i do a bit of clenching during the day as well.

well it is a stressful period so that could be the reason. so i completely forgot to call today to find out when my appointment was postponed to because i don't want to delay my treatment. nothing new except clenching and postponement. someone asked me last night when the wires come off and i didn't want to say i still have another year and a half because of how long it sounds in my head when actually its not that bad.

something very interesting, this morning i spent the whole time cleaning up at the church for easter and the Anglicans are always really really good with food. so of course someone came with hot cross buns and cookies. i tend to shy away from cookies because i'm not such a big fan except of chips ahoy and because they are usually too hard for me to eat. but lately i've been biting into lots of the food i eat. its really strange but i remember reading on the archwired website that after about six months you should be able to bit into hard foodstuffs so maybe that's it. i feel much better today, more like my old self. i guess it differs from day to day because yesterday i didn't even want to get out of bed. thankfully my boys made me get out and today i did some service at the church and that helped quite a bit. i guess i just need to give myself time to heal.

can't wait till the pain stops

i can't wait until i don't feel sad when i hear other people talk to their special person. that hurts, lol. today work was okay. i'm a bit anxious because tomorrow we have to attend a training with the person (work colleague) who broke my heart. i really hate socialising with him these days. i'm really worried because i can't seem to let go. i'm so confused. my teeth are doing very well i must say, i have an adjustment in two days. so tomorrow i am eating solid food for the whole day.

oh yes and i called to find out if i got accepted for masters, not just yet, i'll probably know for sure on thursday. i think i am way too ambitious for my own good, lol. well till adjustment time, cheerio!

the bastard was cheating on me

so yesterday evening i sent my ex a text message just to extend an olive branch and also because surprisingly enough i'm not bitter. so anyway the next thing i know i'm getting text messages from someone who calls herself his 'wifey' threatening me to leave him alone. i was stunned and of course devastated. then like three times the fool tired to call me and again this morning he tried to call me. of course being the strong independent woman i am, i just ignored his calls. i don't see why i should allow him to sleep well by talking to him and telling him that its okay that he decided he wanted both of us at the same time till it became too much for him to handle... i think i feel better today. yesterday i felt numb. i have an adjustment coming up, on thursday to be precise... i also need to concentrate on school cos i found out on friday that i got accepted to do my masters so i need to start working on that now. wow i can't believe it, i'm a statistic...

no words

today i kind of freaked out big time cos my boyfriend broke up with me. i don't even know what his reasons are. its like one minute you connect with someone emotionally and the next he tells you that you are a nice person and not the one with the problem.

i left the office cos i was literally sobbing and i knew i was losing it cos i tried to open the gate of the office with my remote for the gate at home... so at first i was really hurting, humiliated, angry, confused and lots of other bad emotions. i think now i'm just numb. i just have a headache from crying the whole day.

on a lighter note, my teeth are doing really well. when WL was talking about her drama i could relate because today i feel the way she did when she went to her last appointment at the ortho. i forgot how much a man can hurt you. a friend of mine gave me the: "i told you so line" and he told me that i should be strong because there is more to life. of course there is, but at this moment that's not what i need to hear. at this moment i just need time to regain my self respect and focus on healing. i feel like a stupid fool for thinking this guy really cares and it could work.

my teeth have moved!!!

so here is a picture of my teeth that i took last night. sorry about the fact that this is the most hideous picture but this is the best i can do. if you look really carefully you will see the change in my skew tooth. before i got the braces i could not even see the tooth next to the skew tooth. it was almost completely covered by the pesky took which is shifting slowly and which is evident in the first picture from the last post.

everyday i brush my teeth now and floss (I'm starting to get the hang of flossing with all this metal now) i can floss between my skew tooth and the one right next to it! its incredible because each time i look at that tooth i'm astounded because this is the first time in my life i actually have it, lol. it was always osbcured by the wonky tooth.

at my last adjustment the oral hygienist tried to point out the change to me because my teeth had moved quite significantly, but i could not see it but boy do i see it now! the midlines have also moved off quite a bit and before they were perfect so i'm not sure about that. my brother says i should not worry about it because it will correct itself in the end. i can't recall checking the spaces in my mouth where teeth had been extracted but i did it recently and the spaces are closing quite well.

i can't believe how long it took me to to see this movement but yeah its there. i do think the last adjustment made a very big difference. it was not as uncomfortable as usual but the first three days my teeth were as sensitive as hell. but i am biting into really soft foods with my front teeth and generally my teeth are doing very well. i enjoy brushing my teeth although it takes a while because there is so much metal. i have to brush, rinse several times, clean with the other strange brush they gave me in between the metal and then floss. then rinse and then only i'm done. aaarghh its such a process now but anything to avoid having an infection again because of not flossing.

as for the rest of my life. there was a little bit of drama last week but i've reached a point where i've decided to make my job work for me. its a really good place to work and could lead to lots of opportunities. besides that, i've decided not to let the incident with my mini heartbreak stop me from making the best of this job. it took time for me to get to this point but i reckon i am healing.
i guess in the long run its best i had to go through it and i know one day i will see the reason why. this weekend for me was quite good. spent quite a bit of time with my gay boys and they told me that i am hot even for gay men.... i think that's a compliment.

i've totally changed the end of my book, but i'm happy to be working on it again. i missed you guys last week but i'll catch up with you this week.

lots and lots of love.

what gives?

so this is what my teeth looked like a couple of says before i got the braces. the main reason i had to get them was because the teeth in my top jaw were completely crowded. the bottom jaw was relatively perfect. so what they did was to remove two of the teeth closer to the back (in the top jaw only) to make more space for the teeth that at the front. so the spaces at the back are closing. strangely enough the one on the left is closing up faster than the space on the right. my brother had his braces when he was a teenager and i always make him smile so that i can have an indication of what my teeth will look like in a year and a half. (that is if eveything goes according to schedule).

The second picture was taken before any movement started with the teeth right in the front. at the moment my midlines are almost perfect although my brother says they could never get his perfect. i have tried on several occasions to get pictures of my teeth now but i can never get them clear enough. i've had my digicam for two and a half years and my mom calls it crap. i tried with a friends camera cos she has a nicer one but she got tired of trying to help me get a good one even when we set the camera onto the mode laura told me about.

so this is the best i can do for now. the teeth on the right hand lower jaw is really sensitive if i drink something. okay i have had my braces for six months and sometimes i have days like today when i hate them. sometimes they cause more trouble than good, but thats not the worst on my mind. this week i have a trip for work. and the person who broke my heart will be there. i am really not looking forward to that. i hope its better this time. there's nothing like thinking you have started to heal and taking four steps back. God please give me strength. i am really not looking forward to having to socialise with him because i don't trust anything that comes out of his mouth anymore. but the saddest part of the whole thing is that it has made me kind of withdraw emotionally from work colleagues. i don't really let them into my heart anymore. i just come in do my part and leave. i don't care about other people that much anymore.

that's it from me. i'll miss you guys!

a not too bad adjustment

yesterday i had an adjustment, i think it was the third one so far? anyway, whatever it was it did not take too long. they put two new buttons in my mouth and a power chain was fitted on each side of the top jaw. she did that to speed up the closing of the extractions or rather the spaces.

damn but that power chain hurts when they put it on. my jaw still hurts quite a bit today but its not as bad as the last adjustment because i can still eat some things. its strange though because the teeth to which they attached the power chains are so sensitive so i can't eat with them. i can chew with the teeth right at the back and also the ones right in front. but its still hard.

someone please tell me, are the power chains going to affect my ability to kiss? cos i haven't seen my boyfriend for ages but he's coming down for the next two months and boy will i be sad if i can't kiss him! lol.

the only part of the adjustment that was quite traumatic was when she put the buttons in, there was something she used which burned part of my lip and the tongue separator bruised the inside of my mouth. other than that she was done in an hour and i was out of there. i settled my latest bill yesterday and in total so far it has cost me almost N$ 4 000, and those ugly bitches at the reception area have the nerve to be rude to me! anyway i told the Dr. this time and he claims that alot of people complain but he also said he will adress it again.

first of all if you are ugly (i know this is a really nasty thing to say) why must you be ugly to people that are coming in for treatment as well. fat dogs. ok let me stop being ugly too now and check on the rest of you all...

Gum infection :(

great news! i succesfully got myself a gum infection and am currently in pain if i try to chew anything harder than liquid.

since my last adjustment of an adjustment there was alot of extra metal in my mouth. they added two bands on my bottom molars and also added extra wire on the top and bottom teeth of my left hand side. apparently those teeth no longer need to move because they are in the right place now. so she put wire on them in the form of an 8 so that they stay put.

the result of this is that i could not eat proper food for like three weeks. last week i started eating normal food but not before a visit to the oral hygienist that type A personality bitch. sorry but she is. she always speaks in a hurry and rushes you out of her (cleaning place/room). anyway so i went because i would brush and find a bunch of blood on my toothbrush after each brush. ever since the second adjustment i have been brushing my teeth twice so that just exacerbated the swelling.

they were really swollen and when she cleaned my teeth we realised that. granted i was not flossing cos i could not work out how to floss with all the extra metal but now i am doing even though the floss keeps getting shredded. once its finished i'm going to look for something better.

one more day and then i think it will be my third adjustment i think. whatever it is i am so not looking forward to it. now i am just going to gracefully hobble over to my bed cos i just came from the gym and had not been for three lonnnnnng weeks.....

*hugs*

this is not my life anymore...mini heartbreak

one day a girl was ready for an adventure. she started a new job. she met new people and was excited about all the new opportunities in store. the girl thought she was ready for change. the next few months all she did was learn; about her new role in her job, about herself and about what she wanted in life.

over time she formed new relationships with people in her free time and at the workplace. the girl was having fun. she was single and enjoying life. she felt complete even though she was single. sometimes the girl got stressed out at work. she became good friends with a coworker who consoled her. in the meantime she met lots of men in many different places who liked her body but she never met anyone who interested her, even though she was ready for love.

all the while her friendship with her coworker grew deeper and stronger over time. she only realized how deeply at a workshop. she saw him with another woman and felt jealous and very sad. suddenly and without consciously choosing to, she had fallen in love with him.

she could not understand why she felt that way. he picked it up that she was sad and reached out to her. he stroked her hair and pushed some strands behind her ear.she could not tell if he felt the same way. she was terrified of telling him because she knew his stand on workplace romance. she tried to deny her feelings, but one day they came out and bit her in the ass! lol.

Suddenly she gave in to her feelings and exposed herself. she panicked! At first he was kind and admitted he once felt the same. then he too panicked. he lashed out and pushed her away.she begged and pleaded with him to talk about it. she was malicious and hostile. all to no avail, he shut her out completely. her spirit was broken. she lost her confidante. she was looking at him but he was looking the other way. as long as she looked at him she would not meet her prince.

she went on and cut contact. after months of tears she started to put the pieces together. she knew she was not fully recovered when he spoke to her about another woman. Didn't he know it was painful for her to hear? she told him but he continued and told her even more the next day.she realised the feelings for him were not gone only hidden deep in her heart. she was shocked because she had started to love someone else!

even though her heart was bleeding she had to turn away from him too. she knew if she behaved as before, the love might resurface. she knew it would never be returned. this time her heart was not the only one at stake but also the heart of him she had started to love. so, she decided to be brave and let go, until maybe she decided she still wanted to be friends again. even though it was painful she had to do it because he showed her he was not her prince. and she deserved a prince...


so she got herself together, called her girlfriends and went out to her favourite restaurant because this is not her life anymore...but something which happened and she decided to move on.

my road trip north east!

i just got back from the north east and it was awesome! i'm so exhausted cos i did most of the driving on my own but it was so fabulous. i had an excellent co-pilot and the scenery was amazing! my teeth are much better, i've been eating most solid foods all week. Thank God! because i was really really hungry last week and grumpy cos i was deprived of real food.

the hotel was absolutely stunning and all the food was so fresh. i missed my ortho buddies so i'm going to get some rest and catch up with the rest of you all later or tomorrow. i still need to put some time aside to prep for sunday school.

i'm going back up in two weeks time because we'll be opening an office there and i'm going to need to be very hands on with that process all the time. but the long awful drive was worth it. as soon as we got to the hotel and saw the view, we knew it. this is my coworker/friend saara with me in the pics we took at the pool. i posted these ones cos they give you a good idea of what the view was like. i have an adjustment coming up in three weeks which i am dreading. but its the price i have to pay for good teeth i guess, besides like michelle said if not for the braces i would not have met all the nice people that i did.

*hugs*

i can eat food again!

on friday for the first time in over a week i ate normal food. my teeth are still really sensitive when i try to eat fruit or chicken/meat but most soft foods i can eat again. i REALLY REALLY missed food. i was so hungry this week and nutri shakes were not doing it for me anymore. i'm petite but i have a fast metabolism so i need to eat proper food or small meals through out the day.

say, i was wondering if any of you also study the teeth of every person you meet? i have one colleague that is quite cute but her midlines are completely off. isn't it amazing that you can live your whole life and not notice it if you don't have the knowledge? her whole face looks sort of skew. can't believe she was never advised to get braces. then again alot of people are but refuse. i was only advised to get them when i was in university and i refused, cos my already poor self esteem could not take it. besides i would have had glasses and copper brackets. but i find myself studying the teeth of every person i talk to now. there are very few people with good teeth. lots of people have over bites. most of my kids in sunday school have had their barces taken off in the last few months but its quite common among kids.

now that i'm all grown up i know people don't only like me for the way i look. i was in the supermarket and bumped into a former classmate from high school. the first thing he asked me was: aren't you a bit old for braces? but i reckon every single one of us adult ortho bloggers are inspiring others to get them. i know two people that want to get braces, the lady is 38 and the dude is 33 and are considering braces cos i have them. so goodlooking fellow brace face's, we are setting trends! Bridget is right braces are the new pink....

here's a picture i took a couple of weeks ago with one of my girlfriends that is actually based in new york. she was so proud of me for getting the braces. she's asked me to be a bridesmaid at her wedding later on this year. I'm wearing the itty bitty white skirt and my homegirl is next to me. that's how petite i am, i had no idea till i saw myself standing next to people that are also petite, or rather, also short, but not as small as i am.

read you later.

second adjustment of adjustment

So on monday i noticed that there was a piece attached to the arch wire on my bottom jaw which was sliding backwards and forwards on the archwire. i kept debating in my head about whether or not to call my ortho and then i decided to do it.

BIG MISTAKE! they had to take four of the additional bands that they had put in my mouth out and replace them with bigger ones that would not break. so i had to lay upside down for almost two hours. i am so cranky right now. i'm just so hungry because i have not enjoyed a proper meal in days! my teeth are so sensitive right now its crazy. i'm getting worried this annoying pain is not going to go away. i guess the good thing is that my teeth are not really throbbing they are only painful if i try to chew. damn i miss real food though.

they did tell me some good news. apparently my bottom teeth are close to perfect so they should be done in a couple of months. thank the Lord. i can't take much more of this extra large band in my mouth.

today i was feeling a little sad about my book and some other reason that i can't remember right now. i gave two out of the six chapters to an editor friend to read through it and tell me what he thinks. he trashed it the first time and he did it this time again so that was hard. i've decided to take it to two other people cos he did not give me any constructive feedback at all except that its awful. i can't understand how someone cannot have even one nice thing to say so i think I'd like a couple more opinions first, that was just too much negative energy for me.

oh the other thing getting me down is that i really want to see my boyfriend but i will be out of town for three weeks and when he comes i might not be here. if that happens i am so going to freak. i have not seen him for over a month and its getting to me. i think the other thing that is getting me down is that i can't speak properly because of all the extra metal they added to my teeth. so when i speak it sounds a bit like parts of my mouth are numb. kind of like coming from the dentist after a filling and you speak funny because you cant move the side of the face where they put the filling. i hope it gets better. imagine my boyfriend coming from sea and meeting this confident woman that opens her mouth and speaks like a child with a sore throat. maybe he'll think its sexy?

hope y'all have some good news or even some entertaining drama to make me laugh...

braces make me look like a kid?

something shontell said on laura's post inspired this post.yesterday i was at a friends house and she was talking to a very pretty lady. when my friend introduced me to this pretty lady she asked my friend if i am a teenager while i was sitting right there! ok the only thing i can think of is that she assumed that because i was not wild like her and of course because of the tracks as they have made people refer to me like a child on two other occasions.

my first bill at the ortho was due and the receptionist asked me who would be paying it?!!!! i gave her that 'I'm a 27 year old woman how can you not see that' tone when i answered her and she was too embarassed for words. actually this is the story of my life so it can't be the tracks. its strange cos i feel like a woman. i feel like a responsible adult and i dress like one. maybe i should just be grateful. nobody can top this one. seriously.

i had my second adjustment today and that was not too bad. i had my oral hygienist who was really nice. she told me all about her boyfriend. tall, dark and hansome is how she described him and i was like: wow. she is so much nicer than most people who would never tell you anything about their themselves let alone their love life.

okay going to do my prayers now and then sleep. long day ahead tomorrow...

withdrawals when i look at my laptop

so i'm busy editing my book at the moment before i start sending it to professional editors. my deadline was this weekend but i am way too exhausted to push myself even more. i've edited about half of it so far and now i am completely wasted. i'm starting to get withdrawal symptoms when i think of my laptop. as if that is not enough tomorrow i have an evil adjustment. my teeth have been normal the past couple of days but i've been careful not to eat anything that requires alot of chewing. on tuesday was not my adjustment it was just to get the evil seps in. i hate those things. and some of the people at the ortho are evil bitches from hell. when they put the things in they hurt you but they act as if they are giving you a free manicure...

one more day before second adjustment!

in pain right now

ok so i have my second adjustment on tuesday the 15th Jan (is it a tuesday i need to go double check). and my teeth were a bit sensitive over the festive season especially if i ate chicken strips or meat. but last night it was the worst it has been in a while. i mean sometimes my teeth ache after eating something really tough but this was a whole other level of pain that i forgot about! damn... i took two painkillers and i felt like i was high afterwards. its like the one minute i'm chatting to my sister about bozeman (she dissed us and moved to the states with her hubby) and the next minute i'm on the floor about to pass out and speaking in slow motion. i clean forgot how bad the pain can be. the worst part is by the time i passed out on my bed the teeth on the right side of my mouth were still throbbing. i'll post a pic of my new bite soon because it has changed a bit, its amazing really. my extraction on the left hand side has shrunk quite a bit. or rather the space is getting smaller and the teeth on the upper right hand side have moved signifcantly towards the left. that's what makes the pain worth it. i had coffee with a friend the other day and he told me braces suit me. that must be the first time someone did not complain and ask: "when did you get those things?"

over and out.

more random thoughts

So this is my cutie snowy just after she came from a doggy bath at posh dog. she was sulking cos she did not want to be left there.

when i fetched her she was clinging to me and she refused to face the camera even though i begged and pleaded with her so you only get to see her from these strange angles....

the drama that is my life...

okay so my teeth have started moving. one of the spaces where the extractions were done is starting to shrink and my skew tooth and the gum around it hurts like alot. it does feel like its moving although i don't have what 99% of adult ortho bloggers call 'loose teeth'. so the temporary discomfort and pain i'm experiencing is nothing compared to the drama that is my life at the moment.

this holiday was relaxing and also a bit mediocre although i think i needed it. i had a huge bust up with my father and i feel like i'm tired of all the drama that happens between us. maybe i should just cut my losses and accept we will never be close. either that or he comes to see the shrink with me. hmmm wonder what i should do. probably the latter but that involves having to go and try to convince him that shrinks are not for mad people. not sure if i have the strength for that right now.

as for my love life. well what can i say aside from the fact that i think both of us are mad. we've only known each other 3 months and we made it official. i miss my marine engineer though because he's at sea at the moment and i am literally counting down the days until he is back. you know i am not so sure how much of this 'only getting to see my sailor once a month thing' i can take. but that's not the worst of it, there's more. when he is back i have to go for my second adjustment which means while my cutie is here i'm going to be in alot of pain and have that familiar ' my teeth have been sewn shut with a metal piece of thread feeling'. whats a girl to do? i think i should go out and get a life...

*hugs*

nasty braces, nice boys...

all i have to say is when i saw how my braces photograph after the adjustment i was horrified. To think i've been walking everywhere with pride and a huge smile on my face and this is what they look like?!!! nasty!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

breaking news!

firstly i'm in pain. my teeth have seriously started to move and i can see the difference. mainly my teeth in the top jaw look as if they have shifted over to the right, its strange. but i can tell they are moving because on some days my teeth are extremely sensitive. most of the day they are okay except when i eat then they really start to hurt. so i'm eating a lot less. i must be the only woman that is complaining about losing wieght but i can't afford to lose weight....i'm too tiny.

anyway forget that. i have a new boyfriend i tell you it just has to be the braces. well i guess i am getting out more but still the number of men that have approached me recently is incredible i feel like i have a choice of what kind of man to approach now. all those people who tell us that our love lives are over - this one is for you!!!!!

happy holidays!
XOXO